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w_is_for_weird
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Name: Timothy
Birthday: 3/1/1986
Gender: Male
Interests: Nerd stuff, friends, God, the usual... oh and good books
Expertise: Sleeping (I am REALLY good at that), coffee (amazing how those two work together), some say hugs too, but i don't really know, since i have a hard time giving myself a hug.
Occupation: Depends, are you hiring?
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  knee2nose
Member Since:
5/24/2006
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| Infuriating.
It’s
completely incredible how so many minor inconsistencies
and petty grievances in and with others chafe me incessantly.
Yet, with as many pet peeves as I have, I can never get far from those things about my own self that I
loathe.
The truth is I
am afraid.
Afraid to disappoint those who care and those who
don’t.
Afraid of setting goals for myself.
Afraid of commitment.
I hate
that I am so afraid.
I don’t
make promises simply because I don’t trust myself to fulfill them. This constant
state of paranoia and hesitation
is only broken by moments of freedom in which I
step outside my normal behavior and leave the bondage
of trepidation behind.
Those
times of sheer bliss and liberated ecstasy are few and far between, yet so true and joyous
and profound that, if I live for nothing else, it is those short breaths
of fresh air.
Those fleeting glimpses of the life I could
live keep me going through the infuriating monotony
and pathetic self-deprecation in the infernally eternal hope
that I might finally and irrevocably loose the chains that have enslaved me; mind, body and soul. | | |
| I think most of the people I am connected with on this thing are living
within 150 feet of me, but for those who aren't here is what the crap I
have been up to: School has been going for a few weeks now, tests
are rolling in and having their way with me, dorm life is crazy as
usual, I still haven't had any coffee(wouldn't mind it though), I have
two jobs now(lab assistant and research assistant), and I am actually
fairly consistently having a quiet time in the morning.
Ok so, pretty much the coolest thing I am doing right now is my
research. The topic is Sonoluminescence and hopefully soon
Sonofusion. That is to say we create small bubbles in a deutirium
rich liquid (good for fusion) and then enlarge the bubble with a
standing pressure wave and subsequently collapsing the bubble rapidly
creating temperatures on par with the sun and pressures like those of
the center of the earth. All in a test tube in a lab. Yes I
am a full blown nerd now. If you wish to find out more about it,
look it up on wikipedia, the article there is rather accurate on the
subject. I could go on for hours about this stuff, but I don't
think you all are quite as nerdy as me.
Chapel is starting soon, so I must be off like a good little boy.
I am proud that I had a moment to actually type something
though.
tmo
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| Count yourself lucky, I have a moment to post something and plenty to say. Not that I will type it all out, but if you want more details send me an email and we'll talk. Last thing I posted was that I was headed up north to the great U.P. of Michigan. I have since returned, full of joy and great stories and friendships. God was at work at that camp. It was amazing. I did things I never thought possible. Dig this... I (Tim Onken) got up in front of about 120 people and sang. (nothing amazing, cause I can't carry a tune in a bucket, but I did it nonetheless) and that doesn't even scratch the surface.
We had weekly guest speakers who challenged me and gave me a lot to think about. I have grown quite a lot this summer and been past the breaking point a couple times. I don't know if I will go back next summer, but I wouldn't trade the time I spent there for anything. If I got only one thing out of it all, it was this: the best place to be is where God wants you.
Now I am in North Carolina with the Beasleys. I flew down a week and a half ago, stayed with the family for a couple of days then we drove down to Florida to go to Megan's graduation from Bible school. A few days later we turned around and drove back to NC. Over this last weekend, we attended a wedding of one of the cousins. It was a gorgeous occasion and a lot of fun to be part of.
To my Dorm 4 bros, I will see you in a few weeks. I love you guys and I miss you all. Can't wait to have fun with the freshmen.
To everyone, I am sorry to anounce this... it might come as quite a shock, but I have decided to give up coffee. permanently. God and I had some talks... I have to. So I will be selling my machines when I get down to school.
It is late, so I bid thee all a good night and a blessing upon you.
-tmo | | |
| On June 10th I will be headed to Lake Ellen Bible Camp in upper Michigan. I am looking forward to it with all the great relish and mustard you can imagine. The first week will be life guard training and the following one will be staff training. I am feeling a little small and insignificant so, if you could pray that I would absorb as much as I can in the weeks so that I can be a confident tool I woudl appreciate it. I don't feel right now that I could even come close to being prepared for the responsiblities that lie ahead, but this is where God wants me, so I will go and trust in His strength to guide me and keep me afloat. (quite literally, I am still not used to this fresh water crap)
Until then I am just dilly-dallying about the house, doing whatever I can to keep my brain alive. I would do household chores all day long so long as I don't have to eat at SAGA. (And all LeTourneau said: Amen!) Well, for those of you who are reading this I have typed more of these than I ever imagined I would, but I am going to be out of internet range at camp so I don't think I will be adding much then. After that, well... We will see.
Profound thoughts: Don't cry over spilt milk, of course, but is it ok to throw up if the milk is three weeks dead? | | |
| Last week I went to the Upper Peninsula (of Michigan) and helped out at a Bible camp. I helped a mason and a good friend of mine take down and rebuild a stone wall. I didn't do much, but I learned how to mix mortar. The sad bit was I couldn't mix it fast enough for the 70+ year-old mason so he would take the shovel from me and finish out a lot of the batches. Grrr. Oh well. It was a great experience and a lot of good times. I also discovered a really nice English tea while up there. Klaus, the old mason, would tell stories and such every once in a while and we would tease Phil, my good friend, about his new girlfriend (one of Klaus's grandchildren).
Phil and I did a lot of fishing. I had forgotten how incredibly relaxing it is to fish. We didn't get any keepers, which is a slight blessing cause neither of us had a liscence. (hehehe) Anyhoo, we had a ton of good food up there and a ton of good times. I was offered a job at the camp cause the head guy there is an LU alum. (random!) I don't know if I will take it or not, it isn't major cash but it would be a good experience. Well, for those of you bored enough to get to this point, slap yourself, you should be doing something more constructive with your life! I am only semi-joking... | | |
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